It’s hard to think that I have struggled with this project for 4-5 years. In the Fall of 2013, I was sitting in one of my first university level classes, when the teachers assistant mentioned she was doing the Classic Disney Movie Challenge, in which, she was watching all the classic Disney movies in order. At the time, I didn’t even realized that Disney Movie challenges were a thing. Over the next few semesters, I came across a few fans doing similar challenges and I always noticed one particular thing. They always came with a limitation. No one ever just watched all the Disney movies. They watched all the classics, or all the Pixar movies, or all the Disney movies in a certain “Disney Era.” (Disney Fans often break the movies up in different Era’s). And I began to wonder, why? Why not decide to watch them all?
Around the same time, I also considered starting a blog. I thought it would be fun to be able to share my opinions and thoughts with others; however, I am not someone who likes to speak up and share what I think. In fact, Im more of the opposite. I like to sit and listen to everyone else and think long and hard about what I want to say. My opinions tend to be different than others, and it can be hard to share when you know you may be meet with adversity because you see it differently. The thought of blogging was exciting every-time I thought about it, but it was also scary because I would be putting my thoughts out there for everyone to see. So, it took me 2 years to decide that I should go ahead give it a try and start a blog.
In 2015, I brought both these two ideas together by deciding to blog Disney movie reviews; and, that I was going to watch all the Disney movies in my own Disney movie challenge, because I had never found anyone that did such a challenge. However, I soon found out why no one does this. I tracked down hundreds of Disney movies, and this was only the movies produced by Disney. I left out movies made by companies bought by Disney and movies that were only distributed by Disney. My task suddenly was huge. And as I begin to tackle the task, I found that I wasn’t very good at blogging.
After 2 years of struggling with my blog, I realized the problem: I hated my blog. The part of blogging that had excited me was the idea of getting to share, not only my thoughts and opinions, but also myself and my love of several fandoms. My blog was only covering Disney movies. It left out all the other fandoms I loved, as well as what I thought about others things that had nothing to do with fandoms. No wonder I hated my blog, I was leaving out so many parts of who I am. However, I wasn’t sure how to fix the problem, so I took a break to think about things while I finished up my Bachelor’s degree. I graduated in April of 2017, and my break became longer as my blog slipped into the background while I tried to accumulate to life after college and find a job. It was always in the back of my mind, but I never had the time to bring to the front. By the end of 2017, I had decided that I should change my blogs name and thereby its content. It seemed like a small change, but that small change, made me feel more able to share everything I wanted on my blog. The Disney movie challenge became only a part of a much bigger blog. I excitedly posted about the changes coming to my blog at the end of December.
And then, once again, something stopped me from blogging. The first week of January, I was told I had thyroid cancer. I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with this, because it was the second time I have had to face cancer. In 2006, at 12 years old, I had Leukemia (CML). All of sudden I was facing cancer again and I didn’t know how to deal with that. So once again my blog faded into the background. On February 13, my thyroid came out and I spend the next 6 to 8 weeks recovering from surgery, getting my electrolytes in balance, and having pretty much zero energy (which was expected). Finally, about a month ago, I began to get some energy back and feel like my normal self again. I was finally able to stay awake all day, rather than sleeping all day, and I was able to handle long days of fun and adventure once again.
If I’m honest though, I completely forgot about my blog, until the other day, when a friend of mine said something on Facebook about her WordPress blog, and suddenly I was excited to get back to my new blog, this time as a 2x cancer survivor! đŸ˜›
So I’m gonna take Pumba’s advice and put my behind in my past. So I haven’t succeed to this point. So what. If Thomas Edison had given up, Id probably be writing this by candlelight. But he didn’t, so why should I. The last 5 years are in the past, time to move forward. Time to try again.
Hakuna Matata
Random Ramblings of a Fangirl 